The once great champ, now a study in mopishness ([info]amhesquire) wrote,
@ 2006-02-19 01:58:00
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Current mood: lonely
Current music:ATHF on DVD

But I still haven't found what I'm looking for...
They say, the worst she can say is "no"....




But, the "no" hits like a ton of fucking bricks, dropped off of a tall building.


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[info]esyla
2006-02-19 06:12 pm UTC (link)
Just an idea, but...
don't let it?

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[info]amhesquire
2006-02-19 06:43 pm UTC (link)
Sure. Like that's an easy enough thing to do.

And why don't I just pollyanna my way through the rest of my life too, why I'm at it....


I hate my life, but at least I don't have cancer.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]amhesquire
2006-02-19 06:53 pm UTC (link)
For the record, I don't mean to act so snarly.

It's just that nothing seems to be going right and then something seemed to be, then it all came crashing down around me.

And, while others aer able to not take rejection and such as personally, I can't help but feel like it is. Partly, because I'm kinda wired that way. *shrugs*

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[info]emylys_keep
2006-02-20 05:35 am UTC (link)
((HUGS)) Hey, at least you're trying! I went to a bar the other night and was abysmally depressed. Granted, it was in a teensy weensy town and I'm probably related to 1/2 of the men there in some way.

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[info]ascribe
2006-02-20 04:22 pm UTC (link)
Jeez man. You are making me actually post to LJ...

...just ask her. From what you told me it sounds pretty good. If it doesn't go your way, be happy you tried. If you keep letting every setback and rejection destroy your confidence, you're gonna be dragging yourself along the gutter your whole life.

Aren't you sick of that?

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[info]amhesquire
2006-02-20 07:39 pm UTC (link)
And what part of the "no" is so hard to understand?!

It crashed, it burned... End of story.

And, for the record, I'm to the point where trying no longer yields me any satisfaction. The gamut of failure had pretty-much saw to that.

No Edison, I, I'm afraid.

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[info]ascribe
2006-02-21 05:32 am UTC (link)
I am sorry I misread your post.

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[info]sigurther
2006-03-25 05:52 am UTC (link)
The worst she can say is 'no', and the best you can respond is "Okay, whatever. Later."

Indifference makes studs of us all. Women can't stand not winning, and if you appear not to care that she said no, she will want you all the more.

Not joking. It's all in how much of a challenge you are and the fact that people want what they cant have.

Anyway, back to my slice of unreality.

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The worst thing is..
[info]smilomaniac
2006-05-26 12:45 pm UTC (link)
that you're completely right.


I know your type, amhesquire, you want to be a really nice guy, kind to people, to love somebody and most importantly, to receive all of those things in return.
But it rarely works that way.
All of those things are what makes you a good, but ultimatively dull person.

If you bum out on a "no", then the signal you're sending out is "You're not worth to continue fighting for." and "I accept defeat easily".

Continually being pessimistic will drag you even further down.

Taking life by the balls however, will make a difference.
Do something like Sigurther says. Yes, it bears resemblance to letting her know that she isn't worth it, but it makes YOU more interesting.

As soon as you pull yourself together, the most important thing is not to get dissapointed when it still doesn't work.

There is no magic potion, there is no absolute advice, there is no savegame to return to. There is only the slow gradual advancement in your life.
And when you finally get a yes, from whomever it might be, then you can show your true kind loving self gradually. And if the person accepts that, then you've gone further than most people ever will.

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[info]jvc_r6
2006-04-08 09:18 am UTC (link)
My telling you this probably won't do any good, but I'm gonna anyway.

Eventually you're going to realize that alone is ok. Better, even, in a lot of ways. No headaches, no drama, no bs games, no conditions. If something does come along, and it looks like it's good for YOU, even if only for a while, then ok. (Never mind if it's good for her, too. Doesn't matter.) If it doesn't ... meh, who needs it.

If this seems a cold and cynical ... well, yeah. It is. Just like an icepack. Why seek pain? Enough of it comes at a guy anyway, without looking for it.

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[info]amoveo
2006-09-11 02:48 am UTC (link)
Hi there! Is Sex and Violence dead in the water? The last update was in April. If it's dead, please make a statement that it is so, as it is there's a small group of readers still hoping for more.

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[info]sigurther
2007-02-08 04:37 am UTC (link)
come back to us, aaron, come back

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Guys...
[info]crazeyal
2007-06-06 12:23 am UTC (link)
It's gone.

I'm afraid Aaron might be too. I've waited YEARS for this guy to pull himself up and use his massive talent to support himself. He really could have done it. Emotionally as well as finacially. But he let every defeat CRUSH him. Where ever he is, I hope he's happy... but History repeats.

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Re: Guys...
[info]sigurther
2007-06-06 02:34 am UTC (link)
I refuse to believe such poppycock.

Don't die, dude. Not before me.

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Re: Guys...
[info]amhesquire
2007-06-10 01:33 am UTC (link)
Ack-shully......

I've been posting occasionally for some time... But, it's been by & large friends only stuff. I just don't like opening up about things to the general public like I used to.

Furthermore, I'm gearing up for an eventual return. It's just that I still seem to be a magnet for calamity, even worse than I had been, before... And as much as I am trying to withstand the continual storms of life, some days are harder than others.

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